From Now On

I saw the sun begin to dim / And felt that winter wind / Blow cold / A man learns who is there for him / When the glitter fades and the walls won't hold / 'Cause from then, rubble / what remains / Can only be what's true / If all was lost / Is more I gain / 'Cause it led me back / To you

(From Now On, finale of The Greatest Showman)

It’s back.  That winter thing.  Cold and ice, maybe even some snow later.  Who knows?  But only for a few days.  Then it will be warm again.  And wet, and rainy.  Spring and winter do-si-do this month.  Take your partners and dance.  Take your chances.  Shed that coat and freeze your fingers to numbness.  Wear the wool sweater and feel the sweat run down your back.  The cats stare out the back door at the sunshine, thinking they could go out and bask in the warmth, only to blame you when they scurry back in bowed against the frigid temperature. Something just isn’t right they mutter as they huddle over the heating vent.  Just isn’t right.

The not rightness seems pervasive.  Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn.  Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe I’m just out of sync with the world these days.  Or maybe the tilt of the planet is more out of skew than ever.  Maybe the not rightness seeps into everything we do or think or remember, and our vision is clouded by the weight of our brokenness.  Late at night we lie awake remembering every mistake, misjudgment, wrong decision we’ve ever made.  And we can’t help but feel like we’re face down in a boat full of fish, consumed with our sinfulness, wanting to send away the One who brought us to our knees.

Luke 5:1-11  Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God,  2 he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets.  3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat.  4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch."  5 Simon answered, "Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets."  6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.  7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink.  8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!"  9 For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken;  10 and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. Then Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people."  11 When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him. 

In the conversation we learn that it hadn’t been a good night for Simon.  Fishing was done at night in those days.  The fishermen would spend the night in the shallows tossing their nets and pulling in the catch.  Then as dawn broke, they would bring the fish to shore and sell them at the market.  Because of a lack of facilities for preserving fish, this was a daily event.  Except this day.

This day, for Simon, was a hungry day.  Nothing to sell, nothing to take home for his family.  Nothing.  It might have been that he was still sitting in his boat because he didn’t want to go home and tell them that he had nothing.  It might have been that he was sitting there feeling empty, feeling worthless, feeling shallow.  Until that Man came and asked him to go out into the deep.

Luke says that Jesus was teaching and everyone kept pressing closer and closer.  The crowd grew and pressed in to hear.  So, Jesus looks around for options, and sees Simon sitting there in his boat with failure on his hands.  So, Jesus steps in and asks if he would mind rowing out a little way so that He could teach without risking getting wet.  An amazing thing, don’t you think?  A little invitation, a small inconvenience and before you know it, Simon was in over his head.  Did Jesus show up that day looking for followers?  Or was that a bonus?  The catch of the day?  

And what was the lesson that day?  I find it interesting that Luke doesn’t say a word about what Jesus taught.  In Luke’s haste to get to Simon Peter’s story, we skip over Jesus’ words.  Typical, I suppose.  We sometimes miss what is right in front of our faces, because we want to get to something more personal.  We skim over the article to see if our name is there, we glance through the program to find someone familiar, we scan the crowd to find a certain face, and in so doing we miss everything and everyone else.  Jesus may have been talking about paying attention.  It was a common theme in his teaching elsewhere, no reason to think it would have been absent here.  “Consider the lilies,” he would say, “look there, wheat and weeds growing together,” that road, this seed, those fields – Jesus was always asking us to pay attention to what was around us.  Like a preschool primer, Jesus said “Look and See.”

Yet it was never just the appearance of things that interested Jesus.  He was really saying look deeper.  Which is what he said to Simon when the teaching was over.  “Let’s go deep.”  That’s where the drama is, isn’t it?  Out in the deep water.  Out where stuff matters.  We can paddle around in the shallows if we want, it’s safer there, easier there.  Or we can, at His command, His invitation, go deeper.  Simon is reluctant at first.  Been there, done that, didn’t work, won’t work.  I know fishing, Teacher, forgive me but stick to your talking, let me do the fishing.  We tried that already.  And got nothing.  A whole lot of nothing.

We’re reluctant.  Kinda busy over here.  Doing my thing, minding my own business, keeping my head down.  Frankly it’s the best way these days.  Head out to the deep water and you’re likely to drown in the rhetoric of violence and hatred.  Go under the flood of us and them and making our side great again.  No, thank you, the shallows will suit me just fine.  Except they don’t.  Not really.  They don’t satisfy the depths of the soul where the hurting is.  “If you say so,” Simon mumbles.  Maybe he just remembered how this Teacher just strode into Simon’s own house like He already was invited there and healed Simon’s mother-in-law.  Maybe Simon figured he owed this Man the benefit of the doubt.  

So, out they go.  Into the deep.  Drop the net and then ... what?  A miracle?  A coincidence?  A landlubber who got lucky?  A perceptive eye who saw a school a fish at just the right moment?  Who knows.  It was a lottery win, a jackpot in the wildest dreams category.  Two boatloads sinking under the weight of all the slippery, scaley, gasping dead-eyed fish.  Yet something happened in Simon.  Luke gives us a hint of that something - the only time he calls him anything other than Simon is in this moment - this realization moment.  Here’s where Peter is born, the Peter who followed, the Peter who tried, the Peter who failed again and again, but kept following.  That Peter appears right now and he collapsed in fear and shame and full awareness of his inadequacies and emptiness.  Go away from Lord - another change.  From Master - teacher - rabbi - to Lord.  Go away Lord, I am a sinful man.  

Jesus smiles at the fisherman lying among the fish.  And bends down to gently say, “don’t be afraid.”  Wait.  What?  Don’t be afraid?  Not yeah, you are a slimy, fishy sinner, you need to take care of that before we can go any further.  Not, here’s a hot coal to the lips to make you clean again.  Just “don’t be afraid.”  As if Simon Peter’s sin isn’t a handicap to the task before him.  As if sin isn’t a barrier to Jesus.  Isn’t a hindrance to Him.  

Then He says the next amazing thing.  “From now on...”  That’s what He says.  From now on.  As if this moment is a new start, a launching pad, a reorienting.  This moment is a Genesis moment, something is being created here, by the Word made flesh.  From now on.

From now on! / These eyes will not be blinded by the lights! / From now on! / What's waited till tomorrow starts tonight! / It starts tonight! / Let this promise in me start / Like an anthem in my heart / From now on! / From now on! / From now on! // And we will come back home / And we will come back home / Home again! 

From now on you’ll be catching people.  That’s what He said to Simon becoming Peter.  That’s what He says to us.  From now on you’ll be taking them alive.  That’s what the word means.  Mostly.  Taking them alive, capturing them.  It usually refers to capturing of the enemy to make them slaves.  Not the best image, frankly.  Except one linguist says that it could also mean something else.  It could mean revive them.  Make them alive.  From now all you’ll be giving life, you’ll be welcoming them home.  From now on.  And as you find, so you’ll be found.  And we will come back home, home again.  Thanks be to God.

Shalom,

Derek