Maddie made zucchini bread. I got a picture of it. I’m too far away for a sample, unfortunately. She sends regular pictures of the things she makes, the meals and delicacies she prepares. She is a victim of Covid, not health-wise of course. But she lost her job a few months ago. She’s been making her way nannying and babysitting. And cooking. It’s always been a dream of hers. At one time she wanted to open a cupcake shop. Then it was work in a fancy restaurant. She likes making things, and feeding people. All the tenants in her apartment building are benefiting from the time she has free now and the passion that drives her. She’s doing ok, surviving. Or so she tells me. I’m worried, it’s what dads do, you know.
Rhys is moving this weekend. Leaving behind the apartment he’s been in for a year. It was a dump, to be honest, I’m glad he’s leaving it. But it was what he could afford. He found another one, for even less. He tells me it is better. I haven’t seen it, but I hope he’s right. He lost one of his jobs when things shut down. But he got it back, reduced hours though. He’s cobbled together enough to get by, part time jobs here and there. He’s still looking for a full time job, based on the degree that he got for himself, the passion he has within him. But no one is hiring entry level people in his field. He was here for Labor Day weekend. I asked if he was making it. He said he’s trying to do it on his own. Doesn’t want to rely on hand outs from parents. I am proud of him for that. But I worry. It’s what dads do.
I’ll confess, I’ve been thinking - we’ve been thinking how to rearrange our townhouse to make room for them both if they need to come. If we need to gather them up and protect them from a world that has gotten harsh. From the struggles of making your way through. Neither have asked for that. They are determined and resilient. And I couldn’t be more proud of them both. But I want them to know there is a safety net. There is a place of retreat, should they need it. Should the journey become too much for them to continue on their own. Should the edifice of their hopes and dreams come crashing down on them. I want them to remember home.
It was September 11th a week ago. That date on the calendar that we hardly know what to do with. Is it a commemoration? A national lament? A call to arms? I saw many of my friends and acquaintances posting on 9/11, various images and remembrances. And often they were headed with the phrase “Never Forget.” It had historical precedent, echoes throughout the story of human struggle and suffering. “Remember Pearl Harbor”, “Remember the Alamo”, remember those who fought, those who died, remember, never forget. An appropriate response to a difficult day.
But I can’t help but ask: What aren’t we supposed to forget? What should we remember? None of the posters that I could find said what we shouldn’t forget. They just left it hanging there. “Never forget!” As if it was self-evident. As if it was obvious to everyone, anyone who thought about it. Except, these days, I’m not so sure. We think so differently. That’s part of our problem. We who claim to be a united nation, even a “Christian” nation, some say. But we think so differently. It’s at the heart of our divisions. We’re at the breaking point of thinking differently. It’s so common to see people say, “I don’t understand how they can support him!” or “I don’t know why they don’t trust our leader.” “It just doesn’t make sense to me!”
So, give the gap in thinking, I can’t help but wonder what it is we’re supposed to never forget. I ask because there are some ways of remembering that can heal us, and some that only cause us to irritate the wounds. Are we to remember, for example that we are not invulnerable? If so, does that then lead us to a healthy humility or to live and act in fear? Are we to remember that there are enemies in the world? Does this, then, lead us to a careful vigilance or a scapegoating that looks for excuses and incites race baiting? Should we never forget this day as the worst that could happen in our nation or as an example of how even in the midst of tragedy we can rise up to help and to heal and to rebuild?
We should never forget the lives lost, of course. Remember with sadness and support for families. But also with a resolve to improve safety features in our magnificent buildings and to properly equip our first responders. Yes, we should never forget. But what we remember and how we remember give shape to the kind of people we are.
Paul talks to us about remembering. Well, maybe it is a stretch, but I still think there is something to learn from his example. You’ve seen these verses before, I’m sure.
Philippians 1:3-6 RSV I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, 5 thankful for your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. 6 And I am sure that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
I chose the older translation, because it is the one that I remember. “All my remembrance.” Many commentators point out that Paul has a special relationship with the church in Philippi. These folks are in his heart in a special way. So of course he remembers them fondly. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things to correct, or things to worry about. Paul never misses an opportunity to call all his readers to a closer walk with their Lord. Yet he does this in confidence and gratitude. And a commitment to walk with them every step of the way.
I am sure, he writes, that you are on the way. That there are better days to come. That you will not be alone as you move forward into the future that God has in store for you. Confidence.
I thank God for all my remembrance of you. Making my prayer with joy. Gratitude.
And thankful for the partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. Does that mean he is giving up on them now? Or leaving them to their own devices? No, not all. It just means he has been a part of them from the beginning. Even though he hasn’t been there for a while, he is still a part of them. Even now, while he is in prison somewhere. He is in them and they are in him. They motivate his writing, his proclaiming, even as he seeks to motivate them with his words and he hopes his presence some day. A commitment to keep walking with them every step of the way.
Yes, I worry about my kids. And I worry about my nation, in times of crisis and of unrest. But I have confidence in the presence of God and am grateful for all that we have shared to this day. And will commit to being with them, helping them, guiding them every step along the way. Loving them in the best way I can.
I thank God for my remembrance of you. I’ll never forget.
Shalom,
Derek
