I have a wedding this weekend. In fact I’m here right now in my office at church instead of at home writing this. It means things are out of sorts. Not in the right place. And who knows whether I’ll get this done before I need to go and do the necessary. But I thought I’d give it a try. Trying to while away the time as I wait.
Oddly enough, the couple didn’t choose Ephesians 5 as the scripture for the wedding. To say that it is contentious is an understatement. But to say it is misunderstood? Well, there is argument about that too. And it’s not so much the interpretation that is a struggle, it is the application. How do we live out this text? Should we live out this text? Or ought we just consign it to the dustbin of history? A necessarily forgotten relic of a different age. What am I talking about?
Ephesians 5:21-33 Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. 24 Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27 so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-- yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. 33 Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.
Oh, right, you’re thinking, that one. That submissive bit. We don’t like that word. We don’t like it in general, but when applied to marriage it just seems to lead to all kinds of ... well ... abuse. We want our daughters to be strong, to stand up, to make their own way, not to just surrender themselves to some man just because he’s a man. It’s just not right. Or so we think. It doesn’t sit well with us. So we move on.
We’re finishing the letter this week in worship. If you’re just getting on board, we have been tackling large chunks of scripture week by week on Sunday mornings. Four weeks to read through six chapters of this most impressive letter. Last week we ready chapter four verse one through chapter five verse twenty. So this week we jump into this final chapter and a half, chapter 5 verse twenty-one through to the end, chapter six verse twenty-four. Which conveniently allows us to skip these uncomfortable verses here at the beginning. By the time we’ve read through, we forgot they were there. We get carried away by Paul’s rhetoric, we climb the heights again and find ourselves suiting up for the real battle. Not against flesh and blood, not against limited understandings and ancient ways of living in community. No we battle against something far bigger, something more evil. Paul calls them rulers, authorities. Then he says the cosmic powers of this present darkness, the spiritual forces of darkness in the heavenly places. Oh my. No wonder we need armor, we need protection from this evil that threatens to overwhelm us.
Ephesians 6:11-17 Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. 15 As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. 16 With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
We wrap up in the protection that God offers. We hide behind God’s truth, our shared righteousness in Christ, we run to speak not of self but of the One who sends us, we hoist our faith to shield us from the consuming fires of living in a dangerous world, but we wear, on our heads, the crown of our lives, our salvation. Our salvation. Which is ... what exactly? A ticket to a new world? An admission into an exclusive club? A get out of jail free card, a promise that everything that doesn’t make sense now will make sense someday? What ... exactly?
The helmet of salvation. Wearing a helmet isn’t an easy thing. Sometimes it limits vision. Sometimes it feels like a weight. It cramps one’s style, some say. It looks silly for others, odd perhaps. But it helps you know who you belong to. There’s that logo on the side, the team mascot, the battalion you belong to, a sign and symbol that you belong to another. You’ve submitted to another’s authority.
Be subject to one another. Why? Because that’s how we learn to live. By giving ourselves away. By loving. We make a big deal out of the fact that Paul says women have to be subject to and men have to love. Like it is something different. But it isn’t. Not really. To love is to be subject to. To be subject to is to love. Two sides of the same coin, and the model for it all is not us and our fleeting emotions that fade and scatter, but Christ. Christ’s constancy, Christ’s care. Love like Christ, Paul says to the husbands. Love sacrificially, love by surrendering all, love by putting the object of your love first before self. Love like Christ. And to the wives he says, be subject to the one who loves like Christ. Give your all to that kind of loving, that kind of giving. Give yourself to that sacrifice. It’s not the love of any person that is worthy of that, but God’s love, Christ’s love as it is lived out in us. Because we chose it. We put on that helmet. We lifted that shield, put on those shoes, strapped on that belt. We’re polishing up the armor we wear over our hearts. Making it shine so that when we look into it we see a reflection. But it’s not our own face we see on that breastplate of righteousness, it’s His. If we’re doing it right. It might just be a glimpse, a momentary thing, here and then gone. But when we subject ourselves to a love that comes from Christ, then the face we show is His face. Armored submission. It’s a high calling. And a deep joy and fulfillment. To have and to hold from this day forward. Be subject to one another.
Shalom,
Derek
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