It is beyond me. The task, the responsibility, the need, the moment, whatever it is. It is beyond me. I’m not up to the task. I can’t do it. I’m not good enough, smart enough, cute enough, able enough. I am just not enough.
Been there? No, of course not. Not us. We rise to the occasion. We lean into to the moment. To declare otherwise is ... what, weak? Whiny? UnAmerican? To claim that we don’t have what it takes is to fail as a human being, we think, or feel, or are told. We have to call on our inner resources. We have to dig down deep and find the intestinal fortitude to do that task that is before us. Failure is not an option! Surrender is not in our vocabulary. So, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and just keep going. Right? Right.
Except when it is wrong. Which is way more often than we would like to admit. So, you’re asking yourself, what isn’t he up for now? What is beyond him that we have to hear him whine about until we finally get around to the bible study this time? Well, thanks for asking, your concern is compelling. It’s life, actually. Nothing major. Just life. My role in it. My calling, my gifting, my place in the world.
Oh, well, if that’s all. Thought it was something serious there for a moment. We all have those days. We all have those doubts, don’t we? The how can I take one more step when every step seems to be the wrong one? Those kind of days, or weeks, or ... Even great leaders had those kinds of days, didn’t they? Like ... Moses for example? (When up against a wall, head to the bible...)
Exodus 33:11-23 Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then he would return to the camp; but his young assistant, Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the tent. 12 Moses said to the LORD, "See, you have said to me, 'Bring up this people'; but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. Yet you have said, 'I know you by name, and you have also found favor in my sight.' 13 Now if I have found favor in your sight, show me your ways, so that I may know you and find favor in your sight. Consider too that this nation is your people." 14 He said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." 15 And he said to him, "If your presence will not go, do not carry us up from here. 16 For how shall it be known that I have found favor in your sight, I and your people, unless you go with us? In this way, we shall be distinct, I and your people, from every people on the face of the earth." 17 The LORD said to Moses, "I will do the very thing that you have asked; for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name." 18 Moses said, "Show me your glory, I pray." 19 And he said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim before you the name, 'The LORD'; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. 20 But," he said, "you cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live." 21 And the LORD continued, "See, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock; 22 and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by; 23 then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back; but my face shall not be seen."
What an odd little story tucked there near the end of the book of Exodus. So odd that I don’t intend to explain it all to you in this space. Mostly because I can’t. Mostly because when you are dealing with manifestations of God you are in the realm of mystery anyway. So, I don’t have a clue what this is all about. So, exhale, and don’t wait for an explanation. Please.
No, I grabbed this story because of one word. One curious, yet fascinating word that moves us along our journey through the Fruit of the Spirit we began way back in January. We are up to number six of the nine aspects of that Fruit. Number six which sometimes is translated “generosity” and sometimes as “goodness.” Now, we’ve got a five week month here to wrestle with this idea of goodness, so don’t expect it all sewn up in one week. Besides we’ve got a strange passage to deal with, and odd conversation and a weird little promise to wade through before we get back to some larger understanding of how this goodness works in us. So, hang on, OK?
First, God says to Moses “I will make all my goodness pass before you.” What? What in the world does that mean? Or what out of the world, maybe? I will make all my goodness pass before you. Hmm.
OK, take a look at what is going on here. I started with verse eleven so that rest of them make a little bit more sense. See, the text says that God and Moses spent a lot of time in conversation, like friends. Like friends, meaning they enjoyed one another’s company, but argued as much as agreed. It was a contentious relationship from the beginning. No denying that. They complained to each other, dreamed together, they debated the meaning of life. All the usual stuff that friends do.
This time, Moses is saying he’s gotten the short end of the stick again. You gave me this job, he says, but you don’t say how I’m supposed to do it, or who is going to help me do it, or even for sure what it is we are supposed to do now. I’ve got no road map, I’ve got no itinerary, I’ve got no clue what’s next. All I’ve got is this vague sense of call and the fact that you seem to like me for some reason. And besides this is your mess to fix and not mine anyway. God says, I’m here, take it easy. Moses says, well, duh. You’re here. Better be here since this is all your idea anyway. But I need more than that. Way more. God says, OK. Because I like you. Because I told you my name. OK. Moses is a bit stunned by this turn in the conversation and he whispers “Show me your glory.”
So, what did he ask? For a light show? For thunder and lightning? Or something else? Glory. How do we give God glory? Or how do we acknowledge God’s glory? By how we live. Yeah, sometimes it is praise and worship, but mostly we glorify God by living as God would have us live. Moses wanted something tangible. He wanted to see God walking around, living the way Moses was supposed to live. In short, thousands of years before time, he was asking for Jesus. He wanted God to put on flesh and come and hang out with him. Come and guide him. Come and sustain him. For the task he was feeling way too inadequate to do. To lead the people he was sure didn’t want to be led by the likes of him. He wanted a glimpse of how it was supposed to be, how he was supposed to be in God. He wanted Jesus.
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus. We are asking for glory when we sing that song, when we pray that prayer. Give me Jesus. Give me a glimpse of how I’m supposed to walk. Give me a hint of how I’m to do this task you’ve given me to do when I know it is beyond my ability to do. Parenting, pastoring, teaching, leading, living in love with neighbor and family, none of it is within my capabilities to do. None of it.
God says, I know. So, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll make all my goodness pass before you. Wait, what? My goodness, God says, just what you need. Just what will equip you, just what will fill you. On your own the tasks before you are beyond you. But filled with my goodness, then the impossible becomes possible. Filled with my goodness, God says to Moses, you can lead these people. Goodness is not some ethical standard, some state of being, it is the empowering force that equips us to live as God’s people. It is blessing. God blessed Moses on that mountaintop, just as God blesses us anytime we let the Spirit fill us. Filled with my goodness, God says to us, you can be who I created you to be. Filled with my goodness... See, we are so used to thinking these are attributes that we generate ourselves. That if we work hard enough then we will become good. But that isn’t how it works. It is a gift. It is the Spirit. At work within us. And we let it, because we know that without it, we fall short of who we want to be, let alone who God can equip us to be. And we invite the Spirit to bring us God’s goodness because we want it, we want to be there. We want to be that. That something more, that something new. We want to love like that.
2 Peter 1:3-4 3 His divine power has given us everything needed for life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Thus he has given us, through these things, his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may escape from the corruption that is in the world because of lust, and may become participants of the divine nature.
We can only live and love like Christ when we participate in Him, and we participate in Him when we are called by God’s glory and goodness. That’s all we need. All we need. God’s goodness. Thanks be to God.
Shalom,
Derek
No comments:
Post a Comment