Saturday, December 22, 2012

Gift Exchange

Are you ready for Christmas?  I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked that question.  Most often by retail sales folk who are trying to make conversation, to come across as friendly.  Well, and the woman cutting my hair.  An occasional member of the church passing me in the hallways or out in the world somewhere will sometimes ask me that too.  A few of the askers are, I believe, interested in a deeper, more spiritual readiness.  Am I ready to celebrate incarnation, do I have a sense of the presence of the holy, am I in touch with the joy of more than a season - that’s what the few are asking, I believe.  Most however, want to know if I have spent enough money yet.

OK, cynical, I realize.  Yet, when I engage these folks in conversation the next level often goes to a discussion of whether the presents have been purchased and wrapped and hidden, or whether we are still stumped by schedules or crowds or the loved one who is incredibly hard to buy for. 

Everyone has at least one of those, I am sure.  You know what I mean.  It’s not that they have everything and there is nothing left to get them.  Rather it is more like they don’t want anything.  Drives me crazy.  “Do you have a list?”  “Well, no.  I don’t know what to put on it?”  “Everyone else has a list.”  “I know.”  “We want to get you something.”  “I know.”  “Well?”  “I’ll think about it.” Argghh.

OK, the not wanting thing is probably good.  Who am I to tell her she needs to want more stuff.  Sometimes I wish I had a similar attitude.  And actually, I think I do pretty well with the wanting, or the not wanting.  What I struggle with is the giving thing.  Or rather the wanting to give thing.  And I don’t mean I don’t want to give.  The exact opposite in fact.  I want to give a lot, everything and anything.  I’m not usually given permission to go shopping for the kids, because I’d get everything on the list and few things that weren’t there but should have been.  I almost can’t help myself.  I love giving stuff, losing myself in the exquisite agony of selecting something that says just what you want to say to someone who means more to you than you are able to put into words.  I feel as though I carry them with me as I am out and about, looking for that something special, that will make their eyes light up, that will let them know that someone was thinking of them.  But not just them in the generic, but in the specific.  The someone who likes this, who thinks this way, who hopes this hope, who rejoices in that joy.  I want them to feel known and loved by the whatever it is that gets wrapped and slipped under the tree in the front room. 

I know, a lot of weight to a gift that you pick up off a shelf somewhere.  Or point and click on.  Or make a phone call to get.  Which is why there is often a vague sense of disappointment when the gift is opened and the life transforming moment doesn’t occur.  Gratitude, yes, even joy at times.  But not ... well ... not a life changing moment, or life affirming moment.  A confirmation moment.  That’s what we want at Christmas time.  That’s why we give the gifts we give.  That’s why the gift was given.  THE gift.  You know, the “reason for the season” and all of that.

Our gift giving is a reflection of God’s giving.  And though we know we can’t out give God, we want to give with as much investment as we can muster, with as much commitment as we can generate.  We want our gifts to redeem lives, or relationships, or at least make those we care about feel good about themselves. 

But maybe that is too much for a gift to carry, any gift, no matter how carefully chosen or constructed.  Maybe we are wasting our energies, hoping in the wrong vehicles to communicate love and joy and hope to those we love around us.  Maybe we ought to rethink Christmas.

This season we’ve been asked to think differently about Christmas.  To remember that “Christmas is not your birthday!”  Which, by the way, I believe is true even for those few who are born on December 25th.  Their birthday is December 25th, not Christmas.  Christmas, or the Mass of Christ, is about someone else.  And it is that someone who should shape our celebration of this day.  But not just in the background, not just the reason for the season, but the motivator, the shaper of the celebration itself.  Not just the pale outline, but the focus, the object of our devotion and gift giving.

What does Jesus want for Christmas?  That’s the question of this fourth week of Advent.  And since the snow shower of catalogs we receive in the mail each day isn’t really going to be much help, maybe we ought to look elsewhere.  Like to Matthew.  Maybe he can give us some insight into finding the right gift for the guy who has everything.

Matthew 25:31-46   "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory.  32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,  33 and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left.  34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, 'Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;  35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.'  37 Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?  38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing?  39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?'  40 And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.'  41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, 'You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels;  42 for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.'  44 Then they also will answer, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?'  45 Then he will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.'  46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Of course, you sigh, we knew that.  Jesus wants us to get out there help people.  OK, right, get to it.  Another responsibility, another task, another chore to get done before we can get to the business of enjoying our holiday.  Work it into our busy schedules to make Jesus happy.  It is his birthday after all. 

Except that just saying it that way makes us realize we are still missing something.  What is really asking for in this story?  What are we supposed to get?  The goats missed it, but then you would expect them to, they’re goats after all.  But, is it surprising that the sheep seem to have missed it too?  “When was it that we saw you hungry...?” 

Maybe their surprise is the whole point of the story.  Jesus is saying that the goal is not to complete some task, like competing in a reality show of some sort, but rather to be the kind of person who loves like Christ loved.  Not because we’re supposed to, but just because we do.  What Christ wants for Christmas is for us to give the gift of who we are, the loving, caring, giving person that he has enabled us to become - or that we are becoming, since we are all in process.  Which, I guess, is all anyone wants, the gift of ourselves.  Our better selves, our true selves, our Christ-like selves. 

So, are you ready for Christmas?

Shalom,
Derek

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